Something to come home to
by Emma Jay Bentley
Summary: A promise made in high school nearly gets broken and Jane must deal with the aftermath of nearly losing her oldest friend.
1. Chapter 1

Only ever seen clips of this show but an idea popped into my head and I went from there,

Something to come home to.

Chapter 1

Jane smiled as she spotted Frankie walking into the office; however her smile quickly dropped as she saw the look on his face. Jane stood up and braced herself as Frankie came to her desk, straight away she asked what was wrong, asked who it was.

"Padraig called earlier," Frankie explained ignoring the questioning look from Korsak and taking hold of his sister's hand. "Janie you should sit down." Frankie half asked half insisted but Jane just stood there frozen waiting to hear the next words out of her brother's mouth. "Niamh's missing presumed dead." At those words the world seemed to start spinning, the pain in her hands from her recent torment fading away was the words sunk in causing her to sit down in shock.

* * *

><p>"<em>And you are going to write to me?" A teenage Jane Rizzoli asked her best friend Niamh Romano as the latter finished zipping up her holdall and sitting down on the bed in the tiny bedroom.<em>

"_I promise," Niamh said nodding as Jane came and sat down next to her._

"_And no matter what you'll keep writing to me?" Jane asked cautiously, she couldn't believe her best friend was leaving, Jane couldn't begin to imagine leaving Boston but her best friend was determined to see the world._

"_Always, but you've got to write back." Niamh added and Jane smiled, she'd be looking forward to telling her friend just how much her mother was annoying her._

"_And you've got to promise to always come home." Jane instructed, "In one piece and when you're meant too."_

"_I promise." Niamh replied and Jane held out her hand for her friend to take. _

"_All for one and one for all. Janie and Niamh wiping snot on their sleeve." The pair said in unison before pretending to wipe their noses on their jumpers and hugging one another._

* * *

><p>One year later<p>

Jane was at a scene listening to Maura's explanation of the strange position of the latest body when the twilight zone started to play; as usual she ignored it and continued listening. Angela tried 8 more times before giving up and Jane breathed a sigh of relief, this case was going to keep her busy for a while. Five minutes later the ring tone told her that Frankie was calling her and again she ignored it choosing to send the call to voice mail and listening to it as they left the scene. Maura was chatting when Jane held up her hand to silence her so that she could clearly listen to what her mother and brother were saying. Jane's expression changed a few times before she hung up the phone and picked up her pace towards her car dialling a number, leaving Maura standing there with a questioning expression on her face.

* * *

><p>Maura was a little disappointed not to see Jane at all again during the day, she dealt with Frost with regards to their case, when she'd asked where Jane was she'd been told she was taking personal time, when she'd tried to call her there'd been no answer and she'd left a few messages asking the detective to call her. A little before 11 Maura was at home when there was a knock on the door, Maura wasn't surprised to see Jane stood there looking completely exhausted. Without speaking she led Jane into the kitchen and made her sit down before asking if she'd eaten, at Jane's headshake Maura started preparing a sandwich, neither woman spoke until Jane had taken her first bite.<p>

"I erm, thanks." Jane said sounding exhausted. "I'm sorry about today, I just needed to ... You know." Jane sighed but Maura simply didn't have a clue what she was going on about. "I erm... what I mean is my friend's been found, the missing Marine, they found her." Jane said finally and Maura nodded slightly aware of the story. From what Maura knew a few months before she'd arrived as the ME a good friend of Jane's had been in Afghanistan and had gone missing, Korsak had told her that Jane and the missing Marine had been very close and until that moment Maura had assumed it was a guy, even a high school sweetheart.

"How is she?" Maura asked once Jane had finished the sandwich.

"I don't know." Jane admitted, her deep voice full of worry, "her brother's know as much as I do, that's where I went." Jane said. "To her brother's house with Ma. She's close with Ma, Niamh almost lived at our house when we were kids, and I didn't want her to be on her own. We just wanted to be there to see if anything new would come through, I ... we ... needed to be with them in case ..." Jane reached in her trouser pocket and pulled out an envelope handing it to Maura. "I was given a letter the first time she left Boston to go away to do her basic training, and each posting I've gotten a new one. I never ever opened the letter until Frankie told me she was missing; there was part of me that wanted to know what she'd say. I thought it would help me deal with where she was, or if I was ever going to be able to see her or talk to her." Jane admitted, she'd promised back in high school when she'd gotten the first letter that she'd only open the letter when she died, and part of her felt guilty for opening it.

"And?" Maura asked unable to grasp exactly how Jane was feeling and feeling like the letter was too personal for her to read. Whilst she and Jane were close she didn't know about the detective's eldest friend, and she wasn't going to invade someone's privacy even if it would help with some of the confusion she was feeling.

"I opened it but can't read it." Jane replied, "I was worried that if I read it she'd die, and when we didn't hear anything I..." She trailed off and Maura pulled her friend into a hug, "I feel like I let her down, I promised it'd only be opened it she died and she..." Finally Jane let the tears fall that she'd been holding off for most of the day.

* * *

><p>Jane woke up the next morning in Maura's spare bedroom feeling drained; Maura was asleep next to her on top of the covers, the unread letter at the side of the bed. Jane kept on looking at it trying to work out what she should do with it, part of her thought she should just bite the bullet and read it but the other part of her thought she should just give it back to Niamh when she next saw her. She was interrupted from her musings by the sound of her mother's ringtone.<p>

"Ma?" Jane asked sitting up, Maura now stirred and placed a comforting hand on Jane's. "She's alive?" Tears fell from Jane's face which was now full of relief. "How bad is she?" Jane asked as Maura got out of bed and headed to the kitchen leaving Jane to speak to her mother.

"Alive, not giving much away in terms of injuries but apparently she's in a bad way, the word torture's being bandied about at the moment." Jane sighed taking the cup of coffee that Maura handed to her; both knew what Jane though of when the word torture was mentioned. "Tommy's going to be with her brother's today, he's close with Padraig." Maura didn't ask for an explanation to that, she just assumed he was the Marine's brother.

"Anything I can do?" Maura asked, Jane's response was that she was already doing enough by putting up with her, unless she had contacts within the Marine Corps. Maura shook her head wishing there was more that she could do to help her best friend, all she could do was be there for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Something to come home to.

Chapter 2

New information on the Marine's condition came in slowly and rarely, Maura noted that Jane hadn't been herself since finding out that her friend was alive, she couldn't begin to imagine the turmoil the detective was going through. 3 weeks after the first call a message came through that her friend was being flown into the country, the friend who Maura found out was called Niamh Romano grew up across the street from the Rizzoli's and according to Angela was always with Jane, she was like a second daughter to the matriarch. Angela said it had been rare not to find the two girls together as children, it was easier to count the times they'd been apart as youngsters, Maura noted it had been said with a sad smile, a distant memory that was being held onto. As desperate as Jane was to go and see her friend the second she'd landed in the country she couldn't go as they'd caught a big case.

"I'm sorry you can't be with her today." Maura said on the day Niamh was due to land in Virginia where she was to be taken to the Naval hospital. Jane just looked at her friend and nodded glad she had Maura there, she couldn't have spent the day on her own.

"You know me, I don't like hospitals," Jane said with a sigh, "and if the reports are true, I don't think I could face seeing her in such a state." The Romano brothers had filled her in on what they'd been told about their sister's condition and it wasn't looking good. "If the injuries are career ending like they sound to be she's going to be in a very bad condition. I'll see her when she's stronger." Jane said to herself more than to Maura, Jane would probably wait until she got moved closer to home before seeing her or at least attempt to see her.

xxxxx

Angela Rizzoli looked like a different person when she returned from the Naval Hospital with 2 of the 4 Romano boys, she'd had to go down with them the moment Niamh arrived back in the USA, she didn't want her to be on her own and she knew that the boys could do with the moral support, and she also wanted to put her own mind at rest. Finnbar the eldest had held onto her hand as the doctors had filled her in on the Marine's condition, squeezing it as the news sunk in, and then standing by the side of all the boys as they were finally allowed in to see their sister. Angela was appalled with herself to think that the first thing which came into her head upon seeing Niamh was that at least Jane had gotten off lightly with Hoyt, she never thought she'd be able to say that. The injured woman was asleep but the boys went to speak to her, holding her hand and telling them about what she'd missed, and how much they'd missed her.

"Janie and the boys send their love, I think Frankie is thinking about coming down with Tommy in a few weeks, Janie's busy with work but she'll see you soon. And we need to get you fed properly, as soon as they let me I'll be feeding you up." Angela said just waffling on as it helped her stop feeling as awkward and as helpless. "You gave us a big scare young lady, I think I may even had gained a few grey hairs this last year, but at least you're here now." Angela said before placing a motherly kiss on the sleeping woman's head, her forehead being the only part of her face without any bandages or stitches on it.

xxxx

Jane couldn't believe how bad Angela looked, she was drained and couldn't clear her head, Angela couldn't bring herself to tell Jane how bad her best friend looked as it would only upset her. She'd tried to tell the boys not to go and see her but they wouldn't listen, Tommy said he needed to be there for his friend and Frankie said he needed to see her, she didn't deserve to be on her own after so long. His argument was that Niamh was family and you didn't leave them alone.

"Frankie I think mum's right." Jane said to the astonishment of both Maura and Frankie who were sat at the table with her.

"She got special leave to come see you, the boys came to see you, spent time with you, took you to ball games and kept an eye on you, we're just going to do the same for Niamh," Frankie argued. "Recovery time is linked to emotional wellbeing so if we go and cheer her up it'll do her good." Frankie looked at Maura for back up and she nodded, earning a glare from Jane in the process.

"Ma how bad is she on a scale of 1-10?" Jane asked and Angela turned around from the hob to look at her daughter.

"I'd put you after..." She pointed to her hands, "In comparison you'd be a 3." Angela admitted. "I went out of duty and love, and it was heartbreaking, and each day she'll be reminded of it even if she makes a full recovery." Jane went to argue that she was reminded of what she went through everyday but thought better of it. "And you," Angela pointed to Jane, "It would kill you to see her like that. But if the boys want to go I understand, just go and be normal with her, but make sure you're prepared for how bad she is." Angela's voice was so solemn that Jane shuddered to think of the state her best friend was really in.

xxxx

2 weeks later Frankie knocked on Jane's door as she was having dinner with Maura, he looked exhausted and like he'd spent a lot of the last few day's crying.

"I never thought I could see someone in so much pain, or so beaten up, I don't know how she managed to survive but she did." He said through tears and a smile as Jane led him into the kitchen and handed him a beer. "Ma didn't overreact when she told us about how she was, but she's still with us and determined to get better. All I could do was hold her hand and watch her sleep." Frankie admitted, it had been heartbreaking; she'd hardly been awake while he'd been there but the Doctors told them she knew they were there and they should talk to her when she was asleep. "When she was awake she told me off for going to see her looking in such a state, and then she admitted that she was worried I'd see the gap in her gown and see her ass." Frankie managed a small smile, "the injuries are pretty long term too, but she wants to try to get better. Determined actually." He added with a sad sigh.

"What about her career in the Marines?" Jane asked now handing Frankie a plate of food which he pushed away as he couldn't face eating. He didn't speak he just shook his head before Jane said it herself that it was over, at that he nodded and Jane sat down to think, it was a big thing to think about.

"There are alternatives to the Marines," Maura suggested before entering Google mode and explaining other careers her friend could do before a look from Jane told her to stop it.

"Will she ever recover?" Jane asked her younger brother and he couldn't give her an answer. "What ... I mean when ..." Jane stammered her eyes falling on the last photo of her and Niamh taken, it had been taken about 5 years earlier when the Marine was on leave and the pair had spent the entire night out drinking, which they did when they were together a lot, they both looked so young, by that point Niamh had already done one tour of Afghanistan and was having a break before going to Iraq. "I don't know what to say," Jane sighed, "When we were kids she always looked out for me, got me out of loads of trouble, stood by me through loads. When I was released from Hoyt the first email I got was from her, she even visited. Even from overseas she kept me sane, writing letter after letter telling me the most mundane things just to keep my mind off of it, like how many beans she'd eaten, how many flies she'd counted, or how many times she'd made some young marines do press ups for making her feel old," Jane managed a smile. "But I can't even face her, I know she fought hard to get to be with me, flying around the world just to see me for a few hours, and right here right now I can be with her and I'm not." Jane got up from the table and walked off out of the door, Frankie went to follow but Maura stopped him going instead.

xxxx

_Jane was about to swear at the person who was bouncing on the end of her bed, she was already annoyed at being forced to stay with her parents as she couldn't fully look after herself. She was tired, in pain and not in the mood for someone waking her up, especially in such a stupid way. She opened her eyes and felt a finger being placed over her lips._

"_Don't say anything, don't tell me off for coming here, don't say I shouldn't be here." Niamh ordered before removing her finger from where it was on Jane's lip. Jane took a moment to sit up and see that her best friend looked exhausted and was still in full uniform, Jane couldn't believe her friend had just flown halfway round the world to see her, it was like she'd just come off patrol and popped in to see her._

"_But..." Jane started but was stopped by her friend._

"_I just needed to see for myself that you were ok." Niamh said stroking her friend's head, Jane allowed herself to feel relaxed with her friend there and yawned. "You're tired, I shouldn't have woken you." Niamh got up to leave but Jane reached out to stop her friend, momentarily forgetting about the pain in her hand._

"_Stay." Was all Jane asked and her friend nodded, Jane lifted up the covers behind her and waited for her friend to take off her shoes and get in behind her, strong arms pulled her into her best friend and Jane felt safe. Both women falling fast asleep until Angela found them 3 hours later, her first thoughts being that she's stepped back in time 20 years and the two girls were having a sleepover until she spotted the bandages on Jane and the uniform on Niamh. It was one dose of reality she didn't want to see, but she took comfort in the fact that after all those years the 2 girls still clung onto one another in times of hardship._

xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Guilt's an ok emotion to feel," Maura said catching up to Jane who was walking the streets. "And the fact that you're scared that's ok too." Maura added as Jane threw her a look. "But she's your friend, your oldest friend and right now I'm sure she'd feel a whole lot better if you contacted her or even went to see her." Maura turned to return back to the apartment but Jane's voice stopped her.

"What if I can't? What if the only way I can force myself to imagine her is fit, healthy and able to do her job? All she ever wanted was to be a Marine and now she's going to lose that, it's not fair." Jane said not realising how childish she sounded but it was true; as a 10 year old Niamh said she was going to be a Marine and she'd worked hard to become one. Jane still remembered the excitement on her friend's face the day she'd enlisted, all that hard work finally paying off. Jane had lost count of the number of times she'd seen her friend training or pushing herself physically to the limit to make herself stronger and tougher in the build up to her joining.

"Jane you have to do this or you'll never forgive yourself for not being there with her. Like you said she helped you get through your attack, the least you can do is make a phone call." Maura argued and Jane realised she was right.

"But what do I begin to say to her? I still have my career she's going to lose hers." Jane asked subconsciously rubbing her hands, she only suffered pain in her hands occasionally but she knew Niamh would be physically limited and suffer for a long time with her injuries.

"Start with hello and go from there." Was Maura's quick response which actually stunned Jane as it contained more than a hint of sarcasm. But Jane had to admit that her friend had a very valid point.

xxxx

Two weeks later Jane still hadn't been to see her friend; a bad case had kept her more than a little busy and she still lacked some of the courage she felt she'd need to see her. As was happening more and more often her gaze was falling to the photo of the pair of them, Jane had even moved it into her bedroom so she could see more often, on her phone was a picture of Niamh from when she got a promotion to Sergeant, Niamh was proud of her stripes, she'd worked hard for them. Like Jane as a woman in a largely male environment Niamh had had to work twice as hard as some of her fellow marines who were male. The confident smile wearing the uniform with pride, courage, dedication and strength – that was all Niamh. After spending almost an hour lying on her bed looking at the photo Jane walked into her closet pulling out a box of letters, for over 15 years she'd kept each letter and email written to her by her best friend. All were preserved lovingly and kept secure ready for her to read as and when she felt the need to.

_My dearest darling Janie._

_I already feel like I've been here forever, the first tour wasn't half as bad as this, the noise levels have increased and if possible it feels even more dangerous. Had a few close calls too this time, I've somehow managed to get a nasty graze on my left shoulder from a bullet, stung like a bitch too Came flying out of nowhere when we were looking at an area that had apparently just been cleared. Just don't tell your mother or the boys about that one – you know how they worry, and I promise you it's just a graze, hardly any blood. I'm hoping to be allowed home on some proper R&R after this, being back in Boston is one huge dream, they're saying Christmas is a possibility so don't forget to buy me a large present (or lots of little ones, I'm not too fussy), and stick some mistletoe up so we can torment people with it. Or just get ourselves steamed on beer and fall asleep under the tree like we used too, just looking up at the twinkling lights and smelling your mother's cooking, I'd give my right arm for one of her home cooked meals at this moment. I'm missing home more than ever this time, if I were to compare it to anything I'd compare it to how I felt when I first left home, just that niggling feeling in my gut, unsure if I'm really doing the right thing here. There have been some bright sides on this tour though, my strength has improved, I'm 6 pounds lighter than I was when I got here (that's one not to tell Angela too because I'm quite liking being a little more toned and she likes to feed me up), and some of the Baby Marines are shaping up quite well. I have the responsibility for looking after a group of them; my most recent nickname is 'Mommy Marine.' Come on I'm surely not old enough for that nickname? You may look old enough but not me. I've taken a few of the 'young ones' under my wing as I'm now something of an old hat at this stuff now – at least so I'm told. I do miss everyone, that feeling never goes away but I at least know you're looking after Boston and keeping the family all safe. Love to Angela and the boys, hugs and kisses from me to them all a must. Enjoy being tucked up inside reading this, right now I'm off out on a night patrol with some of my boys. _

_Stay safe Janie, I need you to keep me sane, keep giving me a reason to come home. Write back soon. Love N._

"Reason to come home." Jane repeated running her fingers over the words. Carefully Jane folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope, it was the last letter Niamh had sent, it had been dropped into the mail as she'd headed out on patrol, the patrol she'd never come back from. She couldn't begin to imagine what had happened that night, what had gone wrong? Jane wished she knew. Looking at all the letters spread out on her bed Jane picked up her phone and grabbed the piece of paper from the nightstand with the hospital's number and dialled.

xxxx

A bright and cheerful voice answered the phone giving the name of the ward and her name. "Hi I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, I was wondering if you could give me an update on Sergeant Romano's condition." Jane said hoping that they'd fill her in.

"Oh yes you're on the family list," The nurse said before giving Jane an update on how the Marine was doing. On at least 2 occasions Jane inwardly cringed at the descriptions given, and then she laughed when the word stubborn was used as a description, and extremely pig headed. Jane hung up after asking the nurse to let Niamh know she'd called and let her know she'd come and see her soon only to discover that they hoped to be releasing her soon.

xxxx

Unable to sleep and after pouring over each of the letters Niamh had written over the years Jane decided it was time to respond to the last letter written, grabbing a pen, some paper and a cup of coffee Jane sat down in the kitchen to write.

_Hey Shortie_

_I didn't tell them about the bullet graze – did it scar because you'd have to explain it then? _

'No that's no good.' Jane thought screwing it up and tossing the ball of paper on the floor. Ten more screwed up pieces of paper, two snapped pens and three beers later Jane had her letter.

_Shortie! _

_You owe me a drink to make up for covering for you! I mean how crazy are you to get grazed by a bullet? It's a good job I didn't tell Ma, she'd have greeted you with a smack round the head regardless of your current injuries and you know I'm right there. Thanks for the old comment – I'm sorry but having you as a friend does speed up the aging process, knocking years off my life for all the stress you give me. As for the weight loss – you're on your own there, Ma can fuss over that one as much as she likes filling your face with food – saves me being force fed , just tell Frankie how you did it as I know he needs to drop more than a few pounds. Surely you noticed how fat his ass is getting? I know I should have come to see you and although I can use work as an excuse (excuse me Homicide Detective!) I'm not going too. I'll admit I was scared, so many things ran through my head when they told me you were missing, and then when you were found injured, I couldn't bear to think of you like that. Ma's and Frankie's expressions after seeing you said it all, I'm sorry. But you broke our deal, you told me you've come home in one piece, sweep me off my feet in a big hug and drag me to the nearest bar and get us both so drunk we'd not be able to get home without help from a few of our brothers. You rolling up in a hospital bed to greet me wouldn't have had the same effect. So it seems I'll have to do that for you, sweep you up that is and get you drunk. I'll come and see you soon I promise, but don't blame me if I get emotional and cry. I happen to be in touch with my emotions – every now and then. And where you're concerned I can't control them, I care too much about you not to worry. _

_As ever you're in my thoughts. Your Janie._

It wasn't her best letter ever but at the time it was the best she could do, and she went out to post it straight away.

xxxx

Jane was woken a few days later by her phone ringing, it was an unknown number, not bothering to sit up Jane simply answered it with a gruff 'Rizzoli.'

"If you dare come to see me in here I'll never forgive you." A raspy voice ordered causing Jane to sit up in bed with a smile. Jane asked what would she do to stop her and the response was tell Angela which made Jane laugh.

"But sweetie you came to see me." Jane commented and smiled at the sigh down the line.

"I don't care honey, I just want to see you in the right place, not like this, not where I am because I don't want us to change how we are." Niamh said in a sad voice and Jane understood, after seeing her so vulnerable it had changed how things were with Korsak, and Jane knew that Angela would never look at her best friend in the same way again after seeing her in that hospital bed. In her job Niamh was used to seeing casualties but Jane wasn't used to the same sights. Jane argued that Frankie had seen her as had Tommy but she was shot down by the words "they're different", Jane knew her friend was right but wasn't ready to back down yet so they bickered and chatted happily for the next 20 minutes on the phone before hanging up with Jane promising not to visit but to answer her phone.

xxxx


	4. Chapter 4

Something to come home to.

Chapter 4

4 weeks later.

"What's she like?" Maura asked Jane as they were in autopsy chatting about their latest case; the question had thrown Jane off a little as she didn't know who Maura was on about, Maura clarified after seeing Jane's puzzled expression. "Niamh, your friend?" Jane's description made Maura feel a little unsettled for some reason, she didn't understand the bond that Jane had with this 'other woman' who sounded just like Jane in terms of being strong, smart, dedicated and funny. When Jane started going on about how caring and gentle her friend could be Maura was silently relieved that the detective's phone started to ring.

"Rizzoli." Jane answered annoyed that the conversation was being interrupted. "What?" Her face lit up, "When?" Jane's smile got bigger. "I'll be there. Bye." Jane hung up and pulled Maura into a hug.

"Good news?" Maura asked and was slightly put out when Jane said it was the best news she'd had all year, Niamh was being released from hospital and was coming home to Boston in 3 days. Maura was happy for Jane, she really was but again there was still that feeling inside her which Maura could only class as jealousy, and she didn't like it. She was unsettled by the thought of the Marine and she didn't really know why.

xxxxx

Jane was annoyed at Maura, she needed to be out of the office for 6 at the latest but she couldn't go until she got the autopsy report and Maura hadn't finished yet, it was 5:57pm. Jane needed to go home, shower, put on 'something nice' and get over to her mother's new place for 7 sharp. She'd rung Maura 5 times but hadn't gotten any response, as the clock struck 6 Jane was preparing to storm down to the morgue when she felt a hand on her shoulder which made her start and pull out her gun as she span around.

"I got you." The hand's owner said gasping for breath and struggling to remain standing as she giggled, as Jane got her own breath back she put the gun away and pulled the woman standing before her into a huge hug. Being as mindful as she could of her friend's injuries Jane held her friend as close as she could physically be, crutches splayed out on the floor and tears falling from the cheeks of both women. Holding one another for a moment they then let go and Jane helped her friend into a seat; taking in the full extent of her friend's injuries Jane was shocked. Bandages were gone and bruises had faded but there was no masking the fact that the Marine had been seriously injured, she knew why she'd been kept away at the hospital, the few visible scars on her friends face told her enough, let alone the ones she knew were well hidden.

"I thought we were meeting at Finn's for dinner?" Jane asked shocked but still smiling, grabbing hold of her friend's hand and giving it a squeeze as she knelt down at her friend's side.

"I thought I owed you a good surprise, and the look on your face was worth it." Niamh laughed but quickly had to stop herself as she was in pain. "So cupcake, how about you get the pair of us back to your place so I get to see this dog of yours and tell you what to wear so your Ma won't complain that it's 'not nice'?" Niamh asked.

"Darling that's the best offer I've had all week." Jane replied standing up and helping Niamh with her crutches and leading them both out of the office just missing Maura who'd come up with the report.

xxxx

Catching sight of Jane walking alongside a woman with crutches, Jane's hand on the small of the shorter woman's back Maura put two and two together and worked out who it was. Maura started at how relaxed Jane appeared to be with her injured friend, she could hear Jane's deep laugh at something that had been said. Watching the two women leave the building Maura went and dropped the report off on Jane's desk then sent a text to say it was there.

_J. Autopsy took longer than expected, left report on desk. See you tomorrow. M_

Jane's reply was a simple 'ok.' Maura looked around the office and took in its emptiness and started to feel a little lonely, she thought she'd better get used to it with Jane's best friend being back on the scene.

xxxx

To say Jane looked rough the next morning was an understatement, she hadn't made it home due to the amount of alcohol she'd consumed at the dinner the previous evening, she'd fallen asleep in Finn's guest bedroom beside Niamh who was staying there, and had woken up with a stinking hangover the likes of which she hadn't felt since the last time Niamh was encouraging her to drink.

"I feel awful." Jane moaned looking at the light and blinking.

"At least you can blame alcohol." Niamh replied slowly moving herself so that she was upright in the bed, as she moved Jane stole another look at the scars, now she was in a T-shirt instead of jumper you could see the marks on the arms that had been hidden the previous evening. "Told you I'd get you drunk before you got me. Although I'd have given it a go had I not been on so much pain medication." Niamh smiled as Jane too sat up and sighed before looking at her watch and jumping out of bed.

"Crap I'm going to be late." Jane cursed as she looked for the shoes she recalled being forced to kick off before getting into bed with the Marine, Niamh refused to allow shoes in bed, or rather her grandmother had refused shoes in bedrooms so Niamh followed suit. "I need to change." Jane said realising she couldn't do the walk of shame into work wearing clothes from a party.

"Underwear, t-shirt and jacket yes," Niamh replied, "but you'll have to stick with your trousers unless you want to wear some of my shorts." Jane laughed imaging what she'd look like in a pair of her friend's trousers as Niamh's legs were a lot shorter than hers.

xxxx

"New shirt?" Maura asked as Jane walked into autopsy carrying the report from her desk and 2 coffees, the shirt was not Jane's usual style, nor was the jacket she had on, Maura noticed that the detective was dark under the eyes and looked tired. "Late night?" She also asked and Jane nodded.

"Crashed at the party, woke up late so had to borrow this." Jane pointed to the checked shirt and grey jacket, "and these." Jane smiled lifting up her trouser leg to reveal some neon socks causing Maura to laugh. "Conveniently these were the only pair to be found this morning." Jane smirked.

"Did you have a good time?" Maura asked and Jane launched into telling her everything from Niamh surprising her at the station to leaving for work this morning, Maura listened as Jane filled her on what she'd learned about the injuries her friend had suffered, Maura grabbed hold of Jane's hand as she spoke about the scars she'd seen forming on her best friend's body and the ones she knew Niamh would be keeping hidden. "Scars fade Jane." Maura stated simply but didn't let go of Jane's hand.

"But memories of how you get them don't," Jane replied, "and I can't begin to imagine what she went through, a year of it." Jane voiced her concerns repeating things she'd read in newspapers and seen on TV and trying to get the image of her friend going through that out of her head. Luckily Maura was quick to change the subject back to the case.

xxxx

_Jane held her hands out so that they touched the outstretched hands of her best friend, Jane cringed at the sight of her now scared hands and felt the softness of her friend's hands. She wondered if she'd ever be able to look at her hands without thinking of that fateful event, she hoped one day she would._

"_See these are going to be around forever, they'll help remind you of how strong you are and how you can cope with anything." Niamh said gripping her friend's hands gently, she was wearing a pair of Jane's old shorts and a Boston PD shirt, in her mad dash the marine hadn't packed any clothes. _

"_But what if I can't?" Jane asked sounding scared; she was sat on her bed at her mother's place and admitting how she was feeling for the first time._

"_No buts Jane, you will. You will be stronger because of this, and you will keep on going, you won't let this take over you. And next time I see you these'll be nothing but scars, and you'll be strong." Niamh reassured her friend not letting go of her hands. "You survived Jane, just remember that."_

xxxx


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Two weeks later Maura found herself knocking on Jane's door, she'd hardly seen her friend since Niamh had returned so was hoping to catch her in and hand her a report. The door opened to reveal Frankie who greeted her with a big smile, the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen area where Frankie led her to. Jane was sat next to Niamh at the counter and they were pouring over a photo album, Jane smiled and got up to greet Maura glad that she'd finally get her two friends to meet one another.

"Dr Maura Isles this is Sergeant Niamh Romano, Niamh meet Maura." Jane smiled going to Maura and leading her over to Niamh who struggled to stand up on her own. Niamh smiled and held out a hand to the doctor as Jane came to place a comforting hand on her arm to give her some support in standing up.

"Great to meet you at last, you have no idea how much Janie here has told me about you." Niamh smiled giving Maura's hand a firm shake before sitting back down, Maura watched Jane guide her friend back down with familiarity and ease. Maura couldn't see the strong woman Jane had told her about, she saw a small woman, in intense pain, full of fear and struggling to deal with her injuries, Maura couldn't imagine the woman in front of her as a Marine.

"We're just looking at some of the photo's from the old days." Jane explained going to the fridge and getting a glass of wine for Maura who took it happily, Maura noted that whilst Jane was drinking beer the Marine was drinking tea. "I forgot about some of the bad hair styles I experimented with."

"And still do apparently sweet cheeks." Niamh quipped earning a high 5 from Frankie and a glare from Jane.

"Oh pumpkin that's rich, especially coming from the woman who had the worst blonde highlights ever when she was 13 because she let her brother do it with bathroom bleach. I recall your grandmother going apoplectic at Padraig, and you." Jane smirked and Frankie burst out laughing.

"Oh my god I remember that. They were hideous." He laughed only to flush with embarrassment when Niamh reminded him of the time he'd let the girls put make up on him and take him shopping, he was 12 at the time. For almost 20 minutes Maura watched the 3 trade insults in a way that she'd never be comfortable with, so at ease with one another, a lifetime of memories to pick from, but she hadn't seen Jane smile like that in a long time. As Jane refilled Maura's glass a phone rang, a cheesy 80's song filling the kitchen and Niamh groaned answering it.

"I'm not a child and I can tell the time." Niamh said to the caller with a sigh, "ok I'm on my way down." Niamh moved to get down from her seat and straight away Jane and Frankie were at her side. "I hate having a curfew, feels like being a kid again only the boys are worse than grandpa ever was," she sighed, "it was lovely to meet you at last Maura." Maura was shocked at how genuine she sounded and nodded.

"Honey I'll walk you down," Jane said to her friend and nodding at Maura that she'd be back.

"I'll take you, and you can sweet talk Killian into giving me a lift too." Frankie said grabbing his coat and moving to Niamh's side and handing her a crutch, Niamh nodded smiling. After a quick goodbye Jane and Maura were left on their own.

xxxx

"Sorry for intruding, I brought the report you wanted." Maura said feeling a little uneasy so she reached into her bag and pulled out the report, Jane said quick thanks before flicking through the file. "Niamh seems to be doing well." Maura said her eyes drifting over to the photo album which shared a lifetime of memories, she wished she had someone who she'd grown up with to sit and laugh over photos and incidents with. She and Jane had started to build memories but it wasn't the same as having had a friend since before you really knew what a friend was. Jane nodded and sighed putting the report down.

"She hasn't asked for the letter back." Jane announced, it took a second for Maura to recall what Jane meant but when she did she nodded in understanding. Jane went on to explain that every other time Niamh had been away she'd asked for the letter back straight away, the fact that she hadn't asked unsettled her. Maura asked why she hadn't said anything to her friend about the letter. "For some reason I can't force myself to, I can't exactly go up to her and say 'hey Niamh here's that letter you asked me to look after in case you died.' And then closely followed by 'Oh by the way I've opened it but didn't read it.'" Jane said dejectedly, she knew Maura didn't get how she was really feeling but it was good for her to have someone to sound off too.

"Well I think you should, there's no point in telling a lie, and it's obviously bothering you that she's not asked for it. I thought part of being best friends was about being honest with one another, that's how we work at least." Maura reasoned and Jane nodded knowing she was right; she sometimes hated the fact that Maura was always right.

xxxx

"So dear, when you said let's do lunch I imagined something more than this." Niamh laughed looking around at the cafe in the police station, Angela was happy to be feeding the two girls and making sure they were eating. Jane smirked when she spotted that Niamh's plate had been filled with more food than her own, Angela was on a fatten Niamh up scheme which Niamh wasn't objecting too.

"Well poppet I thought it'd be a nice change," Jane lied, she really just wanted to be somewhere familiar, with Maura to run too downstairs or her mother there if she really needed her. "And I wanted to give you this back," She pulled the letter out of her pocket and passed it over to her friend.

"I had a feeling it'd be open." Niamh said looking at the envelope, Jane said she hadn't read it and Niamh believed her, she'd have known if it had been read. "I don't want it," she pushed the envelope towards Jane, "I'm not that person anymore, you should read it." Jane said she couldn't read it, reading the letter meant that her friend was dead. "Maybe then we can get back to normal."

"We are normal." Jane argued but Niamh cut her off mentioning the scars and how Jane was suddenly more protective of her, and how she felt like she needed to go somewhere to clear her head but she couldn't because of the fact that she couldn't look after herself fully and there was a medal ceremony she needed to go to.

"And where would you go?" Jane asked suddenly worried, there was no way Niamh could look after herself, and she thought her friend needed to go to the medal ceremony, she deserved to receive that Purple Heart and the commendation that was going with it, Niamh deserved the recognition she would be getting.

"Somewhere I'm not scared of hurting people just by being in the same room, I see the pain in all your eyes at my injuries, I don't feel like I used too and need to clear my head." Niamh pushed the letter towards Jane. "I want you to read it," Niamh said placing her hand over Jane's. "You need to understand that I wasn't scared, to see what I was thinking the night before I went out there, then you can see where I am now." Niamh said getting up from the table and watching Jane properly grasp the letter. "I need you to read it because I thought you would when I was taken. You need to because I want us to be 'us' again." Jane nodded clutching the envelope tighter. "I'll see you." Jane stopped to ask her where she was going but Niamh wouldn't tell her, she just told her to take care before heading out of the station with her crutches guiding her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"_Do you ever get scared?" Jane asked, the pair were sitting on the steps out the back of the old house that Niamh and her brother's had grown up in, a pack of beer between them on the warm summers night._

"_Of what?" Niamh asked sitting back and placing her hands behind her to look at the night sky, she was home from her first tour of Afghanistan, utterly exhausted and glad to be home, and the first thing she did was drag Jane and a large number of beers to her childhood home._

"_What you do? Where you go?" Jane asked mirroring her friends pose but turning to watch her expression, in the 15 months she'd been away she'd missed her best friend, in all the years of having a Marine as her best friend 15 months was by far the longest they'd gone without seeing one another. Niamh responded with a sigh._

"_I suppose so, you don't really get time to think when you're busy but then when you're trying to sleep, hearing the noises you sometimes wonder how you ended up there instead of married to a guy from back home with a kid." Jane snorted at that momentarily imagining the words coming out of her mother's mouth. "Then I worry that I'm not good enough for marriage and kids because I didn't grow up with the traditional family." Jane placed a hand over her friends giving it a gentle squeeze._

"_Yes you are, and who cares about a traditional family, you have people who love you," Jane said, "and you know what?" Jane sighed as if deep in thought, "I'd be delighted to have you as part of my 'traditional' family, so when you marry Frankie it'll be perfect." Jane smiled. "But just promise me that you'll keep coming back safe, so I get to keep giving these back to you." Jane reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope which her friend took and pulling out a lighter from her pocket set fire to it, as the flames ate away at the paper Jane wondered what was written on it. _

Present Day.

She couldn't read it at work, she was nervous and her hands were shaking as she held it. Going to somewhere she'd be able to seek comfort she found herself sat on the sofa next to her mother, Angela was always a source of comfort where Niamh was concerned, Niamh once said she never felt safer than when in a Ma Rizzoli hug. Seeing the letter and her daughter's anxiousness Angela nodded and placed a comforting hand on her daughter's leg, taking a deep breath Jane pulled the letter out of the envelope.

_Dear Jane_

_So, here it is, my 'in the event of' letter, it's gone through some changes over the last decade just like the pair of us. So many things pour through your mind when you sit down to write one of these things, who to address it through, where to leave it, a lot of people leave it where they are so it can be sent but I think it's better to have someone to leave it with back home. My reasoning is I can physically come and get it back, to prove that I made it home, to see the people it's about. I chose you because it avoids conflict between by boys and because I trust you, you know me and get me, and you'd be able to give this to them for me. Each time I write one of these it gets harder, the older and more experienced I get the more aware I am of what can go wrong, and trust me things can go wrong in a matter of seconds where I'm going._

_If you're reading this it does mean that the worst's happened and I'm sorry, I always said I'd do my best to come back, and trust me when I say I'll fight to the death to be able to come back, as long as there's a chance I'll hang on. To give my boys peace let them know that I know I was loved and that I loved them, no girl ever had brothers as good as mine (not even you), the way they looked after me and stood by me, each day I miss them and think of them I'm the person I am today because of those 4 amazing men. _

_Look after them for me Jane, they love you and will listen to you, hug them and tell them I loved them all deeply and can't thank them enough for looking after me. My nephews and nieces I adore and tell them I was honoured to be their auntie, and I'm sorry I wasn't around enough for them, they all have good dads to take care of them. Finnbar, Lochlan, Killian, Padraig – words cannot describe how much you mean to me or how much I love you, each breath I take I owe to you and I'll be looking out for you from heaven. Thank you for being my brothers and letting me know what it was like to be loved._

_Thank your mother for all the food, hugs and love she gave me, I love her like a mother and for a long time she was my 'other mother', I know she gives you a hard time but it's because she loves you so much and only wants what's best for you. And do me a favour – your first daughter must have Angela somewhere in her name – she'll love you forever and it'd mean a lot, I wouldn't complain if a Niamh made it in there somewhere too. Besides if you name a child in Angela's honour she'd babysit all the time and she'll make a wonderful grandmother one day, just like she's been a wonderful mother. _

_Frankie and Tommy deserve a hug too; Tommy was a good 5__th__ brother for me, although getting me into more trouble than he got me out of. Tell him thanks and get him to keep a close eye on Padraig; he'll need him in this. Dearest Frankie, I know how much of a crush he had on me and in this moment I'm regretting not acting on it as Jane I did and do like him back, I'm smiling here just thinking about him. He's your little brother but you yourself said we've always had a connection, and remember that occasion when you told me you thought I should marry him so we'd be related – and I know you remember it as you weren't that drunk. I can't help how things work out, I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I not joined the Marines – I have a sneaky feeling your mother would have done something to make me more of an 'official' part of the family. I can't help but all the things I missed out on due to my career but I don't want you or him to make that sort of mistake. I'll always hold a special place for him in my heart. Don't tell him as I couldn't bear to think of him being more upset than necessary over this, but tell him I want him to be happy and to love. Something I want for you too._

_Then there's you. My best friend, my sister, my conscience. I never thought that when I gave you this you'd ever read it, with all my heart I wish you never had to do anything but take care of this and hand it back, but here goes. I love you, you've been the best friend I could ever have had, my sister since I was a little girl. I wouldn't have gotten to be the person I was today without you there to comfort and support me, looking after me when I was upset, being there for me at my grandparent's funerals and sharing your mother with me. Mothers and daughters have a special connection and I'm honoured that you let me experience some of that with your mother. You are a wonderful person Jane, so strong and so intelligent but full of empathy and compassion – it's those qualities that make you an excellent detective and an amazing person. We had so much fun growing up together, so many good memories, tears, tantrums and laughs. Keep those memories alive Jane, share them, laugh with friends, go out and have fun, you deserve to be happy. One of the worst moments in my life was finding out you'd been taken and seeing you after you'd come out of hospital but seeing how much stronger it made you gave me inspiration. Knowing you're around still fighting keeps me going, no matter how hard or how dark it gets you're the bravest person I've ever met and I've met lots of brave people. Promise me you'll be happy, don't be too sad, you are allowed to be and allowed to cry but remember the happy times, remember me happy with you playing baseball, or drinking beers on the porch. I could go to the ends of the earth and never find a better friend than you, thank you for doing this for me._

_Now for the practicalities. Obviously my brother's will want a funeral, a religious one, in the church we spent so much time trying to avoid going too. You and Frankie are NOT allowed to wear uniforms; I want bright colours, and lots of flowers, with pictures of me with my family (you are in that category). Hymn – All things bright and beautiful, and I quite like the idea of Abide with me being played – I know it will make people cry but it really is a wonderful song. After the service to the pub, shots on the bar – a selection please and you must get drunk, one shot for you for each year we've been friends (and I consider us to have been friends since we were 1). I know it'll be hard but I want it to be a happy occasion. If possible I'd like to be buried with my mother, but if not and I'm cremated ashes need to be scattered over her grave and my grandparent's graves, scattered with a bottle of JD for you and my boys to share._

_I've left my Will with Finnbar so he can sort that, he'll appreciate having someone there to help him though. Outside my will I want to leave you with love and happy memories. I want you all to know that I died fighting for my country doing the job I always wanted to do. I know that I was loved; I was happy and lived a life largely without regrets. I miss you all everyday – thank you for being part of my life._

_Niamh._


	7. Chapter 7

Last chapter - thanks to those who've read.

Chapter 7

Tears were streaming down both of their faces when Jane finished reading and placed the letter on the coffee table, instinctively Angela pulled Jane onto her lap and cradled her like she was a little girl, an act that served to comfort both women.

"It doesn't make it easier knowing that she's somewhere out there on her own." Jane said wiping away her tears and moving to sit next to her mother again, she took a deep breath. "I don't know what to do." Jane said watching Angela wipe her own eyes.

"You go tell her thank you for that honour, thank you for trusting you, and thank you for coming back to us." Angela said standing up, taking Jane by the hand and pulling her up.

"But she hasn't." Jane sniffed, "She's gone and now I've got to wait to see her again when all I want to do is see her now." Tears continued to stream down the Detective's face as she started to think of where to look. Starting to name people she should call to try find her friend Angela stopped her daughter saying Niamh needed time to clear her head, and Jane needed time to prepare for seeing her friend in full uniform at the end of her career. Angela knew that Niamh would need her friend to be there for her, she just hoped Jane would be strong enough.

xxxx

'_Wow' Jane thought watching her friend parade in her full uniform for the first time, it gave her friend a completely new look, full of strength, confidence and determination. Jane watched the new recruits finish their parade and then be dismissed, then they could finally go talk to her._

"_Pumpkin you look fantastic!" Angela cooed gripping the Marine in a fierce hug after she'd been greeted by her brothers._

"_Darling you've never looked better." Smiling and giving her friend a hug, Jane was honoured to have been invited to the passing out parade. _

"_Thank you honey." Niamh smiled and Angela laughed at them still using pet names for one another, they'd done it since they were 5. She had hoped they'd grow out of it but they never did, but it kind of suited their relationship, always a little bit more than friends. "So it suits me?" Niamh asked putting her hat back on. Jane simply looked her friend over and smiled._

"_Like you belong in it dear."_

xxxx

Jane was busy ironing her uniform when there was a knock on the door, huffing at being disturbed she made her way over to the door to peer through the peep hole, gasping at who she found there she quickly threw the door open and dragged the person inside for a strong hug.

"Thank you for being part of my life." Jane said resting her chin on the head of her oldest friend, "and thank you for coming back." Jane added before letting go. Jane studied her friend; the Marine looked exhausted, and probably was. "The nightmares are the worst part aren't they?" Jane asked knowingly earning herself a nod as Niamh sat down on the sofa. "I can feel how I felt back then, the smells, the sounds, the fear." Jane sat down next to her friend and placed her arms on her legs rubbing her hands together. "It does get easier honey," Jane admitted. "Physically and emotionally." Jane held her hands up in front of her friend as if to show them as proof, even though she knew they were nothing compared to the scars her friend was hiding.

"They say it takes 6 months to recover from the initial ordeal, and then a week for every day you were in that situation." Niamh sighed, "I'm crap at math but even I know that'll take longer than I'm comfortable with." There was a silence and the iron clicked, "I don't want to be scared anymore and I think in order for that to happen I need to close the door on it." Jane nodded in understanding; she'd finally managed to get some closure and wanted her friend to feel the same way. "This came through the mail." Niamh reached into her pocket and pulled out a letter handing it to Jane, without hesitating Jane read it, twice before placing it on the coffee table with a sigh before asking her friend what she was going to do. "You mean what did I do?" Jane turned surprised.

xxxx

Jane was stunned, she'd always assumed that her oldest friend would fight to the death for her career but there she was giving it up. Jane was at a loss for words and couldn't speak even after Niamh had asked her for her opinion.

"I ... well..." Jane stammered running her hands through her hair. "Are you sure? What are you going to do?" Jane asked suddenly finding her voice and worrying about her friend. All Niamh had ever done was be a Marine, it suited her, she lived for her job. But then it had almost killed her, taken away her strength, something that Jane could fully understand. Jane had thought about leaving the force after what had happened to her but she couldn't, but her injuries didn't stop her from doing what she loved, as long as Niamh lived she'd be hampered by physical limitations, she had to forge a new life for herself. Jane couldn't fault her friend's bravery on that.

"Recover, help out with the business, think things through, spend time with the family. I have 6 nephews and nieces I hardly know. To be honest I really don't know yet, but what I do know is that it's time." Niamh replied and Jane nodded studying her friend's face, it was set and confident, no trace of regret in her features. "I want so much more out of life and don't want to waste it, do you understand?" Niamh asked and Jane nodded completely getting where her friend was coming from, coming that close to dying had given Niamh a reality check and brought her home.

"And I promise I'll be right beside you the entire time." Jane said reaching out and grabbing hold of her friend's hand. "You'll always have me to come home to." The pair placed their hands over one another and holding them there for a moment before breaking like they did when they swore a promise when they were kids. "But right now I have to help you get to your medal ceremony otherwise we'll both be running from my mother, and I'm not above stealing your crutches to hamper you." Jane laughed only half joking.

Watching Jane walk in with her friend's arm entwined with hers to give physical and mental support Maura finally got what Jane was on about. Wearing full dress uniform, well decorated and with a determined expression Niamh eluded strength and confidence, along with all the other qualities her friend had described.

"She wears it well doesn't she?" Frankie asked standing beside Maura, Maura didn't respond she just nodded in agreement. "I remember the first time I saw her in it, she snuck in through the door on gnocchi night and creeping up behind Jane she tapped her on the shoulder. Jane flew out of her seat." Frankie laughed and Maura smiled imagining how startled her friend would have been. "She looked good though, the uniform gives her a confidence that she never really managed out of it." Frankie said with a sigh and Maura patted him gently on the arm. "She never realised that the confidence is her, the strength is her, the uniform just brought it out."

Jane and Angela didn't bother to hide their tears of pride during the ceremony, watching Niamh stand up to receive both her Commendation and Purple Heart was a proud occasion and an awfully sad one. Jane knew her friend was hurting but all she could do was be there for her, standing beside her as she shook the hands of countless officers, received numerous congratulatory pats on the back, and helped her remain standing through all the photo's Angela wanted to take. Then when Niamh went to sit down Jane found Maura.

"Thank you for coming today, it means a lot to me." Jane smiled at her other best friend whilst keeping an eye on Niamh who'd now been joined by Frankie.

"Thank you for inviting me; it was an honour to be here." Maura said sincerely, "I never got what you meant about Niamh until today, seeing the full package brought it home; I take it the pair of you sorted things out?" Jane nodded in response before telling Maura that the Marine was retiring to come home, Maura looked over to where the Marine was sat with the younger Rizzoli and smiled. Angela was mooching around taking sly shots of the pair who were talking animatedly, Maura noted that Niamh seemed very relaxed surrounded by her friends and her brother's, she caught the happiness on Angela's face as Frankie slipped an arm around Niamh. "Has it ever crossed your mind that they make a cute couple?" Maura asked and was surprised at Jane's delighted laugh.

"Only a few times over the last decade, and the best thing is they like one another." Jane smiled placing an arm around Maura and guiding her to the rest of the group. "Come on let's intervene before Ma starts getting too excited, last thing we need is her pushing Niamh back into the Marines before Frankie can ask her out, I quite like having her home." Maura laughed and the pair went to join the others.

The End.


End file.
